Spike Quotes, season 6, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bargaining
SPIKE: I'm never gonna get anything killed with you lot holding me back.
TARA: (panting) I thought the big ones were supposed to tire more easily.
SPIKE: No, that's over-the-hill shopkeepers.TARA: It's not supposed to mix with anything, you think he might be taking prescription medication?
SPIKE: (sarcastic) Yeah, that must be it.SPIKE: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?
SPIKE: (to Willow) What's with the Dadaism, Red?
SPIKE:(to Dawn) Yeah, she responded to BuffyBot because a robot is predictable. Boring. Perfect teacher's pet. That's all schools are, you know. Just factories, spewing out mindless little automatons.
He sees Dawn's raised eyebrows.
SPIKE: (quickly) Who go on to be ... very ... valuable and productive members of society, and you should go. (quieter) Because Buffy would want you to.
SPIKE: (to Dawn) No. I'm not leaving you ... to get hurt. (softly) Not again.
SPIKE: A couple of stakes, holy water, one cross. [picks up cross] Ow! [drops it] Brilliant.
SPIKE: I'm not gonna let those buggers lay so much as a warty digit on you.
SPIKE: Oh, nothing. Just, uh, looked like fun. I'm just saying.After Life
SPIKE: You scared me half to death. Or more to death.
SPIKE: You-- I could kill you. I mean it. I could rip your head off one-handed and drink from your brainstem.
BUFFY: How long was I gone?
SPIKE: 147 days yesterday. Uh, 148 today. Except today doesn't count, does it?
SPIKE: That's the thing about magic. There's always consequences. Always!
SPIKE: It's hard to get a good night's death around here.
SPIKE: I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I'd have done that, even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, and do something different. Faster, or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways. Every night, I save you.
SPIKE: I was going to go inside, but I overheard you and the super-friends exchanging a special moment, and I came over a bit queasy. Say, aren't you leaving a hole in the middle of some soggy group hug?
BUFFY: That's okay. I can be alone with you here.
SPIKE: Thanks ever so.
SPIKE: Well, I haven't been to a hell-dimension just of late, but I know a thing or two about torment.Flooded
SPIKE: You hear all that noise?
BUFFY: Just enough to make me feel crappy.
SPIKE: You want me to take them out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could probably thin the herd a little. ... Knew I could get a grin.
SPIKE: Oh. Did you know this place was flooded?
Life Serial
BUFFY: Life is stupid.
SPIKE: I have a dim memory of that, yeah. And I didn't figure you were here caging my whisky because life was all full of blood and peaches.
BUFFY: Giles is working on it.
SPIKE: Oh good! 'Cuz Giles wields the mighty force of library books.
SPIKE: You're not a schoolgirl. You're not a shopgirl. You're a creature of the darkness, like me. Try on my world. See how good it feels.
BUFFY: You want to play, that's fine. I am sticking to the original plan. Which one do I kill for information?
SPIKE: Listen! These guys talk while they play. You'll get more information out of their mouths than out of gaping holes in their corpses.
SPIKE: Who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby... get me started? Come on, someone's got to stake me.SPIKE: Me? I... cheat? He's got X-ray vision.
SPIKE: Ah, so it's a set-up isn't it? Squeeze a few quid out of the vamp. I'll tell you what you didn't count on. Me and the bird. You wanna fight, you face the two of us.
SPIKE: If you want to steal the van I'm with you, love, but we have got the motorcycle.
All the Way
SPIKE: I thought you had it to the brim with customer disservice?SPIKE: Feel like a bit of the rough and tumble?
BUFFY: What?
SPIKE: Me, you... patrolling? Hello!
SPIKE: It's not like I don't already have plans. "Great Pumpkin's" on in 20.SPIKE: It's Halloween, you nit. We take the night off. Those are the rules.
Vamp: Me and mine don't follow no stinkin' rules. We're rebels.
SPIKE: No, I'm a rebel. You're an idiot. Give the lot of us a bad name.
Once more, With Feeling.
SPIKE: The sun sets, and she appears. Come to serenade me?
SPIKE: Well, I've seen some damn funny things the last two days. 600-pound Chirago demon making like Yma Sumac - that one'll stay with you. .
SPIKE: You've just come to pump me for information.
BUFFY: What else would I want to pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?
SPIKE: I died
So many years ago
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so
Why you come to be with me
I think I finally know
mmmmmm
You're scared
ashamed of what you feel
You can't tell the ones you love
know you couldn't deal
A whisper in a dead man's ear
That doesn't make it realThat's great
But I don't wanna play
Cause being with you touches me
more then I can say,
but since I'm only dead to you,
I'm saying: Stay away!
And let me rest in peaceLet me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole 6 foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peaceYou know
You got a willing slave.
And you just love to play the thought
that you might misbehave
But till you do
I'm tellig you:
Stop visiting my grave!
And let me rest in peaceI know
I should go
But I follow you
Like a man possessed
There's a traitor here
beneath my breast
and it hurts me more
Then you've ever guessed
If my heart could beat
It would break my chest
But I can see
You're unimpressed
So leave me be!And let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it
In a hole 6 foot deep
I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace
Why won't you
let me rest in peace.SPIKE: Strong. Someday, he'll be a real boy.
SPIKE: Fine. I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit.
SPIKE: You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing, get your kumba-yayas out.
BUFFY: I don't want to.
SPIKE: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.
Tabula Rasa
Spike: Can we talk?
Buffy: Vocal cord-wise, yes. With each other, no.
Spike: We kissed, you and me. All "Gone With the Wind," with the rising music and the rising... music, and what was that, Buffy?
Buffy: A spell?
Spike: Oh, don't get all prim and proper on me. I know what kind of girl you really are. Don't I?
Spike: Take it easy, you'll get your kittens.
Spike: You need to give me asylum.Spike: You met him, I believe. Toothy bloke with the baby-seal breath?
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bullocks. Oh, god. I'm English.
Giles: Welcome to the nancy-tribe.
Spike: You don't suppose you and I... we're not related, are we?
Giles: And you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and disappointment. [indicates self] Older brother?
Spike: [snickers] Father. Oh god, how I must hate you.
Giles: What did I do?
Spike: There's always something. And what's with the trollop?
Anya: Hey!
Giles: Her?
Spike: I saw you sleeping together.
Giles: Resting together.
Spike: Oh, great -- a tarty step-mother who's half old Daddy's age.
Spike: Rupert. [laughs]Spike:"Made with care for Randy." Randy Giles? Why not just call me "Horny Giles" or "Desperate-for-a-shag Giles"? I knew there was a reason I hated you.
Spike: You never showed me affection like that. I'd wager.
Spike: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport. Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.
Spike: Hey, I'm a superhero, too! Joan, where are you going?
Buffy: You're a vampire.
Spike: I, me, a vampire? No.
Buffy: Check the lumpies and the teeth.
Spike: [feels fangs]
Buffy: I kill your kind.
Spike: And I bite yours. So how come I don't want to bite you? And why am I fighting other vampires? I must be a noble vampire. A good guy, on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless. I'm a vampire with a soul.
Buffy: A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that?
Spike: I'm a hero, really. I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life, and then to rise above it. To seek out better, nobler things. It's inspirational, isn't it? And the two of us -- natural enemies thrown together, to stand against the forces of darkness. Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me.Spike: From dust.. to dust.
Smashed
Spike: I thought they were demons.
Buffy: Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher.
Spike: Remind me not to help you.
Buffy: More often?
Spike: You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so I could attack criminals and that sort.
Buffy: Yes, because muggers deserve to be eaten.
Buffy: You'll just have to get your rocks off fightin' demons.
Spike: There are other ways.
Buffy: And to that, an extreme "see you later."
Spike: You're a tease, you know that, Slayer? Get a fella's motor revvin', let the tension marinate a couple of days, then bam! Crown yourself the Ice Queen.Spike: You know, as long as we're both here, you might as well tag along. I mean, as a team we could...
Buffy: Yeah, that never really ends well, does it?
Spike: It did the other night.
Buffy: But when I kissed you, you know I was thinking about Giles, right?
Spike: You know, I always wondered about you two.
Buffy: What? Oh, gross, Spike! He left, I was depressed, ergo vulnerability and bad kissing decisions.
Spike: Look at all the goodies.
Spike: That's right, you should scream. Creature of the night here, yeah? Some people forget that.
Spike: She thinks I'm housebroken. She forgot who she's dealing with.
Girl: Anything you want...
Spike: Just 'cause she's confused about where she fits in, I'm supposed to be, too? 'Cause I'm not. I know what I am. I'm dangerous. I'm evil.
Girl: I'm sure you're not evil.
Spike: Yes, I am. I am a killer. That's what I do. I kill. And yeah, maybe it's been a long time, but... It's not like you forget how. You just do it. And now I can again, all right? So here goes. This might hurt a little.
Spike: Knock-knock, Robot Boy. You need to look at my chip.Spike: Oh, you can play holodeck another time.
Spike: Examine my chip, or else Mr. Fett here is the first to die.Spike: Help me out here, Spock. I don't speak loser.
Spike: [in low and seductive voice] Slayer.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Meet me at the cemetery. Twenty minutes. Come alone.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: Bloody hell. [normal voice] Yes, it's me.
Buffy: You're calling me on the phone?
Spike: Thought you might be up for a little grunt work.
Buffy: What? No. No grunting!
Spike: I was talking shop, luv, but if you've got other ideas... You, me, cozy little tomb with a view...
Spike: You shouldn't be so flip, luv.Spike: Oh, the pain, the pain... is gone.
Spike: Don't you get it? Don't you see? You came back wrong.
Spike: Hello? Vampire. I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?
Wrecked
Buffy: When did the building fall down?
Spike: I don't know. Must have been some time between the first time and the, uh...
Buffy: And don't call me "luv."
Spike: You didn't seem to take issue with that last night. Or with any of the other little nasties we whispered.
Buffy: Last night was the end of this freak show.
Spike: Don't say that!Spike: I knew it. I knew the only thing better than killing a Slayer would be--
Spike: I'm just saying vampires get you hot.
Spike: I'm done being your whipping boy.
Buffy: Like you're god's gift.
Spike: Hardly. Wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?
Buffy: You're bent.
Spike: Yeah, and it made you scream, didn't it?
Spike: I'm a bit knackered. Had a long night. Someone should teach you how to use candles in foreplay, luv.
Buffy: Get dressed. Dawn's missing.
Spike: Again? Ever think about a lo-jack for the girl?
Spike: Oh, that's right - hide your blushing eyes.
Buffy: Spike, if you're dragging this out...
Spike: What, so I can linger near your precious self? Get a grip.
Spike: You're gonna crave me like I crave blood, and the next time you come calling, if you don't stop being such a bitch, maybe I will bite you.Gone
Spike: Just, uh, took a stroll. Found myself in your neck of the woods.
Spike: So, um, what should I call you, then? Pet? Sweetheart? My little Goldilocks?
Spike: Uh-uh, uh-uh -- this flapjack's not ready to be flipped.
Buffy: Now's really not a good time. I have company.
Spike: No worries. I'll wait.
Buffy: Spike, this nice woman is from Social Services.
Spike: Oh, right. Hey, Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it.
Dorus: I'm sorry, did you say--
Buffy: Crib. Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang.
Spike: So long, Goldilocks.
Spike: Whatever beastie you are, I know you're here. And I hurt beasties.
Spike: A ghost, is it? Well, go and haunt the living, like a good spook.
Spike: A man shouldn't let immortality be an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for the killing.
Spike: So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping?
Spike: And if we bump into each other, I'll clue her that you're on the lookout.
Xander: After your... exercises.
Spike: Yeah, right.
Xander: You know, kidding aside, Spike, you really should get a girlfriend.
Spike: This vanishing act's right liberating for you, isn't it? Go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Or anyone.
Buffy: What are you talking ab--
Spike: The only reason you're here is that you're not here.
Buffy: I'm free. Free of rules and reports, free of this life.
Spike: Free of life. Got another name for that -- dead.
Spike: Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather... hey, that's cheating.Doublemeat Palace
Buffy: I'm working. Go away.
Spike: Yeah, and you chose to be in the consumer service profession, and I'm a consumer. Service me.
Spike: Damned fluorescent lights. Make me look dead. Some demons love 'em. Way they vibrate makes the skin twitch. That the kind of demon you are, luv?
Spike: That why you took this job? Prove something to yourself? A normal job for a normal girl. Good way to drive yourself crazy, that is.Dead Things
Buffy: We missed the bed again.
Spike: Lucky for the bed.
Buffy: Is this a new rug.
Spike: Um, no. Just looks different when you're under it.
Buffy: You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.
Spike: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.Spike: Are we having a conversation?
Buffy: What? No. No. Maybe.
Spike: Well, isn't this usually the part where you kick me in the head and run out, virtue fluttering?
Buffy: That's the plan... as soon as my legs start working.
Spike: You were amazing.
Buffy: You got the job done yourself.
Spike: I was just trying to keep up. The things you do. The way you make it hurt in all the wrong places. I've never been with such an animal.
Buffy: I'm not an animal.
Spike: You wanna see the bite marks?
Spike: Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.
Spike: You see, you try to be with them... but you always end up in the dark... with me.
Spike: No one'll ever find her.
Policeman 1: Where'd they find her?
Policeman 2: The river. She washed up a half-mile from the cemetery.
Spike: Oh, balls.
Spike: I love you.
Buffy: No, you don't.
Spike: You think I haven't tried not to?
Spike: You always hurt the one you love, pet.
Older and Far Away
Spike: You want to slip away for a minute, love?
Buffy: What?
Spike: I'll let you blow out my candles.
Spike: I had a muscle cramp. Buffy was helping.
Tara: A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
Spike: What? It's a thing.
Spike: Must be some late-night activities to keep us busy till morning.Spike: Me, I used to love breakfast. In the old days, I probably would have eaten by now.
Buffy: Course, with that new diet of yours, you want to be careful what you try putting in your mouth now, Spikey.
Spike: Yeah? I don't know. Tummy's making all kind of gurglies, maybe I ought to just feed on whatever's around, even if it doesn't go down well. < to Richard > You, uh, work out?
Buffy: I was insane to ever think you could just hang out with my friends.
Spike: And I was insane to think... No, wait. You were right - you're insane.
Buffy: We all have places that we'd rather be.
Spike: Things we'd rather be doing.
Spike: Hey, I don't want to keep you from all the touchy-feelies, but maybe the encounter group can meet later? Say, when we're not trapped in a house.
Spike: So, you ever think about not celebrating your birthday? Just to try it, I mean?
Halfrek: William?
Spike: Hey, wait a minute...
Buffy: You guys know each other?
Halfrek: Uh, no. No.
Spike: Not really.As You Were
Buffy: Oh, for pete's sake. Spike?
Spike: It's a fair cop. You caught me Slayer. However, in all honesty, I think we have to say this one doesn't count. After all, I wasn't exactly hiding.
Spike: So it's the fear of getting caught then, is it?
Buffy: Reason number one on a very long list.
Spike: I don't usually use the word delicious, but I've got a wager this little tableau must sting a bit, hey?
Spike: What can I say? The girl just needs a little monster in her, man.
Spi
ke: I've memorized this tune, luv. I think I have the sheet music.
Hell's Bells
Spike: You meet my friend?
Buffy: No, not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous.
Buffy: But if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts.
Spike: I'm sorry. Oh... good!
Buffy: Go where? Your place?
Spike: Yeah, I suppose. That was the idea.
Buffy: Yeah.
Spike: Evil.
Buffy: Of course.
Spike: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You glow.
Buffy: That's because the dress is radioactive.
Spike: But it hurts?
Buffy: Yeah.
Spike: Thanks.
Buffy: You're welcome.Normal Again
Spike: You looking for me?
Buffy: Really not.
Spike: Right. Let's not listen to Spike. Might get a bit of truth on you.
Spike: Put a little ice on the back of her neck. She likes that.
Spike: Thinks up some chip in my head. Make me soft, fall in love with her, then turn me into her soddin' sex slave.
Xander: What??
Spike: Nothing. Alternative realities.
Spike: Oh, balls. You didn't say he was a Glarghle Guhl Kashma'nik..
Spike: I hope you don't think this antidote's gonna rid you of that nasty martyrdom. See, I figured it out, love. You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're addicted to the misery.Entropy
Spike: How you doin'?
Buffy: Oh, fine. You know, same old, same old.
Spike: Here, I could take care of this guy if you want.
Buffy: Whatever. Your call.
Spike: I mean, sure, he don't look like much, but I'd wager he could give you a bit of nasty. Save you the staking. All you gotta do is...
Buffy:I am not telling my friends about us.
Buffy: I tried to kill my friends, my sister last week, and guess how much they hate me. Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you -- they'll deal.
Spike: In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?
Buffy: Because I don't love you.
Spike: Like hell.
Buffy: It's a camera.
Spike: Yeah, I got that part. Why am I holding it?
Buffy: Someone was using it to spy on me. On my house. (Spike frowning) Xander thinks it's you.
Spike: Oh, the great Xander thinks so? Shudder, gasp, it must be true.
Anya: So, what's your pleasure?
Spike: Fresh out of pleasure. That's why I'm here.
Spike: What he done to you, I'll never stoop that low. And I'm an evil, soulless thing.
Anya: And now I'm off my guard. Happy. Singing in the shower and doing my sexy dance.
Spike: Exactly! [pause] I have no dance.
Anya: Screw 'em!
Spike: To the rafters.
Spike: I have nothing but respect for a woman who's forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn't have a single buggering clue about what was going on in front of her, but she was straight about it. That was a virtue.
Spike: Take it quick or my chivalry will run out.
Anya: Wait -- what are you doing?
Spike: Moving on.
Anya: You know I'm only doing this because I'm lonely and drunk and you smell really good.
Spike: See? Forthright.Seeing Red.
Spike: Everything always used to be so clear. Slayer, vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones.Spike: Bitch's gonna see a change.
Villains
Spike: You do the fingerpaintings? Nice work.
Demon: Look what she's reduced you to.
Spike: It's this bloody chip.
Demon: You were a legendary dark warrior and you let yourself be castrated.Two to Go
Demon: You understand, then?
Spike: Yeah, yeah. It's not like you haven't been clear about it, oh great Mysterious One. This is a test. I don't get what I want unless I pass said test. That about the size and shape?
Demon: Yes.
Spike: And since your pad is decked out gladiator-style, and no #2 pencils have been provided, I guess we're not starting with the written.
Spike: Oh, here we go, then. Just me and the walking action figure.
Spike: Bad move, bad move, bad move...Grave
Spike: Well, that was a bloody doddle and a piece of piss.
Demon: You have endured the required trials.
Spike: Bloody right I have. So you'll give me what I want. Make me what I was, so Buffy can get what she deserves.
Demon: Very well. We will return your soul.
