Spike Quotes, season 7, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lessons
Spike: Buffy... duck.
Buffy: Duck? There's a duck? [gets hit on head]
Spike: No visitors today. Terribly busy.
Spike: Manifest spirits controlled by a talisman, raised to seek vengeance. A four-year-old could figure it.
Beneath You
Spike: We need to talk. Want to do that here, or privately?
Spike: Something's coming. I don't know what, exactly, but something's brewing. And it's so big, ugly, and damned, it makes you and me look like little bitty puzzle pieces.
Spike: And when exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?
Spike: I don't fancy sticking my head in that.
Spike: Those ghostly types in the school basement got in my head. Made me flat-out, bug-shagging crazy.
Spike: We've been through things. The end of the world and back.
Spike: Hey, is that it? A little touchy-feely and you're off to the batpoles?
Spike: That's right! Big bad's back, and lookin' for a little death.
Spike: The joke's on me. Lots of laughs. Hey, bring the wife and kiddies, come see the show. 'Cause it's gonna be a circus.
Spike: Just the beginning, love. A warm-up act. The real headliner's coming, and when that band hits the stage, all of this.. all this... will come tumbling in death and screaming, horror and bloodshed. From beneath you, it devours.
Spike: No more mind games. No more mind.
Bufy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?
Spike: I dreamed of killing you.S: Can we rest now Buffy, can we rest now?
Same Time, Same Place
Spike: This is my place! You need permission to be here. You need a special slip with a stamp!
Spike: My money's on the witch. Red's a bad girl!Spike: There's a cave in it. Look, I'm insane. What's his excuse?
Help
Buffy: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: Nothing. If I don't move, if I don't think, if I don't listen to the voices, then I won't hurt... much.
Spike: There's evil. Down here. Right here. I'm a bad man. William is a bad man. I hurt the girl.
Spike: Don't leave me. Stay here and help me be quiet.Buffy: Spike?
Spike: I'm here to help. No hurting the girl.
Evil boy: Who are you?
Spike: I'm a bad man.Selfless
Spike: Dru used to see things, you know. She'd always be staring up at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed, or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers.Him
Buffy: You've been out of the basement for a half-an-hour, and you've already stopped talking to invisible people.
Spike: Bollocks.
Buffy: Okay, so there was that one episode in the car, but...
Spike: I don't need your molly-coddling.Sleeper
Spike: Anya, do be specific and tell a fellow just exactly what you're doing here.
Anya: Well, Spike... I'm here, obviously... for... um, sex.
Spike: Uh, beg pardon?
Anya: You and me. Here and now. Let's go! Let's get it on, you big, bad boy!
Spike: Wait, wait, Anya, just a minute, this is not exact-- Is that a stake?
Anya: Yes. Kinky.
Anya: I got it. No problem, I understand. You think I'm fat!
Spike: What?
Anya: Well, it's either that or the haircut.
Spike: Ridiculous. The 'do's quite fetching.
Spike: I need my pants.
Spike: As daft a notion as soulful Spike the killer is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me.
Spike: I know what the Slayer told you. It's not true. Let me go, and I'll find a way to prove it.
Spike: I think I've done some very bad things.
Spike: I can't cry this soul out of me. It won't come.
Never Leave Me
Spike: Meaning, I have come to redefine the words "pain" and "suffering" since I fell in love with you.
Spike: Apparently I just slaughtered half of Sunnydale, pet. I'm not really worried about being polite any more.
Spike: You hated yourself, and you took it out on me.
Buffy: You figured that out just now?
Spike: Soul's not all about moonbeams and penny whistles, luv. It's about self-loathing. I get it.
Spike: I understand the violence inside.
Bring on the Night
Spike: You're not Drusilla.
First Evil (Drusilla): No, I'm really not.
Spike: She was crazier than you.
First Evil (Drusilla): What do you say?
Spike: Dru, love... get bent.Potential
S: Okay, these two are dead. Why?Spike: Fine. You think I care if it was a fair fight?
Potential: No. No-no sir. You don't play by the rules and I've learned a valuable lesson of some sort.
Demon: Spike! Long time. Nice of you to bring snacks.
Spike: Touch them and lose your privates.Spike: Nice job of blending in, girls.
Buffy: Nope. Go ahead. Down all the yak urine shots or pig's blood spritzers you like.
Potential 1: Gross.
Spike: Got that right. Prices they charge, you should get human blood straight from the body. [Slayerettes look at him] Vampire.
Potential 2: Only a vamp could live like this.
Spike: Some, yeah. I mean, as a group we're not known for our tasteful decor, but in all fairness to the race... this place is seriously lacking in style.
Buffy: Thank you, Spike.
Spike: Merely saying.
Potential 3: Where'd you live?
Spike: What, you mean before? A crypt, actually. But nicer. A bit more... I don't know if "posh" is the right word. But it was more like...
Buffy: Comfy.
The Killer in Me
Spike: Give us all a chance for a breather, eh?
Buffy: From Giles?
Spike: From the constant pitter-patter of clomping teen-age girlie feet.
Buffy: We'll hit serious research mode.
Spike: Try "Behavioral Modification Software Throughout the Ages."
Buffy: Okay. You're right. Not a book thing. It's a phone thing.
Spike: Who you gonna call? [Buffy looks at him] God, that phrase is never gonna be usable again, is it?First Date
Spike: Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence?
Spike: You tried to record the ultimate evil. Why? In a complex effort to royally piss it off?
Buffy: You have to stay.
Spike: You've got another demon fighter.
Buffy: That's not why I need you here.
Spike: Is that right? Why is that, then?
Buffy: 'Cause I'm not ready for you to not be here.Get It Done
Spike: You're really talkin' to the wrong fella.
Anya: You know, the only thing worse than being human is being trapped inside a house full of humans.
Spike: Preaching to the choir, luv.
Spike: I like my plan better. Get up. Get out. Get drunk. Repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.
Anya: Tonight I plan to drink you under the table.
Spike: You're on, then.
Anya: Good. Of course, once you're down there, I could join you. Kidding. I like my sex on top of the table.
Spike: Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone.
Anya: So what?
Spike: It's my bone. Just drop it.
Anya: He won't stop coming till he kills me.
Spike: And yet here we are. Walking, talking, annoying.
Spike: Yeah, I went to great lengths, lots of trouble. And now I'm unique. Well, more or less.
Buffy: What I want is the Spike that's dangerous. The Spike that tried to kill me when we met.
Spike: Oh, you don't know how close you are to bringing him out.
Spike: Oh, come on now, nancy. Call yourself a demon?
Spike: I don't know your feelings, big guy, but to me, a tussle like that... is good for the soul.Storyteller
Buffy: The riot that almost happened.
Robin: Looks to me like it happened after all.
Spike: Looks to me like it's still happening.
Spike: How'd they make this in here, you suppose?
Robin: Wood shop, I guess. Nice to know they're paying attention in class.Lies My Parents Told Me
Spike: I'm gonna ride you hard before I put you away, luv.
Slayer (Robin Woods mother): You sure about that? You actually look a little wet and limp to me.
Spike: By the way... love the coat.
Spike: With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain.
Spike: We'll ravage this city together, my pet. Lay waste to all of Europe. The three of us will teach the snobs and elitists with their folderol just what--
Drusilla: Three?
Spike: You, me, and mother. We'll open up their veins and bathe in their blood as they scream our names across the-- what?
Drusilla: You... you want to bring your mum with us?
Spike: Well, yeah. You'll like her.
Spike: A hard day's principaling got you down, you need a space to cut loose, let your hair down... so to speak.Dirty Girls
Spike: Let me guess: leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower... you must be Faith.
Faith: Maybe you haven't heard. I've reformed.
Spike: So have I. I reformed way before you did.
Spike: Stop... hitting... me! We're on the same side.
Faith: Please! You think I'm stupid?
Spike: Well, yeah.
Spike: I'm nothing like Angel. Angel's dull as a table lamp. And we have very different coloring.
Spike: Not all that tension was about you. Giles was part of a plan
to kill me... for Buffy's own good.Spike: I got dangerous for a while.
Faith: This before the soul or after?
Spike: After, but I got over it. In case you're feeling all dust-happy again after your long incarceration.Faith: I may have said a few things.
Spike: Like you could drive me at a gallop till my knees buckled. Squeeze me till I popped like warm champagne. That's not the kind of thing a man forgets.
Faith: Should have known it wasn't Blondie behind the wheel. She'd never throw down like that.
Spike: Oh, you *have* been away.
Faith: Don't even tell me little Miss tightly-wound's been getting her naughty on!K: An evil vineyard, huh?
Spike: Like Falcon Crest.Empty Places
Giles: Spike, I have a mission for you.
Spike: Oh, really? 'Cause, you know, sometimes our missions end up with you trying to kill me. I'm not fond of those.
Spike: It's not a road trip, it's a covert operation.
Andrew: Right, right, gotcha. I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good.
Spike: Not as good as those onion blossom things.
Andrew: It's an onion, and it's a flower. I don't understand how such a thing is possible.
Spike: See, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep fry it root-side up for about five minutes.
Andrew: Masterful!
Spike: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.
Monk: One night, some time ago, a man arrived at our doors.
Spike: And you said "Come in, do some damage"?Touched
Andrew: I spy with my little eye something that begins with a "T."
Spike: Tapestry.
Andrew: Hey, good one. How did you...?
Spikr: Tapestry's the only thing in the whole bloody room.
Spike: He's a breath of fresh air, isn't he? Thank god I don't breathe.
Spike: So Buffy took some time off right in the middle of the apocalypse and it was her decision?
Faith: The time for speech-giving is over, bat-boy.
Spike: Is that right?
Faith: Yeah, that's right. Save your lack of breath.
Spike: No?
Buffy: No.
Spike: You mean no, as in eventually?
Buffy: You really have problems with that word, don't you?
Spike: I came, hit Faith a bunch of times, and left.
Buffy: Really? I mean, not that I'm glad...
Spike: I've hummed along to your pity ditty, and I think I should have the mike for a bit.
Buffy: Cheer me up.
Spike: You're insufferable.
Buffy: Thank you, that really helped.
Buffy: Fine, I'm attainable. I'm an attain-a-thon.
Spike: I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I follow my blood. Which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain.
Spike: You're the one.
Buffy: I don't want to be the one.
Spike: I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.
Spike: That diabolical torture device -- the comfy chair.
End of days
Spike: Honey, you're home.
Spike: You did it. Fulfilled your mission. Found the Holy Grail, or the holy hand grenade, or whatever the hell that is.
Buffy: You like?
Spike: Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly the look I want to know better, but it does have flair.
Buffy: You're a dope.
Spike: I'm a what?
Buffy: You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.
Spike: Have you gone completely Carrot-top?
Spike: All I did was hold you and watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life.Chosen
Spike: So, where's tall, dark and forehead?
Buffy: Let me guess -- you can smell him?
Spike: Yeah, that and I also used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you kissing him.
Buffy: It was... a hello.
Spike: Most people don't use their tongues to say hello. Or I guess they do, but...
Buffy: Good, good. I haven't had quite enough jealous vampire crap for one night.
Spike: He wears lifts, you know.
Buffy: You know, one of these days I'm just gonna put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out.
Spike: No problem at this end.
Buffy: Ooh. There could be oil of some kind involved.
Spike: Where's the trinket?
Buffy: The who-ket?
Buffy: Faith still has my room.
Spike: Well, you're not staying here. You can't buy me off with shiny beads and sweet-talk. You got Angel-breath. I'm not gonna let you just whack me back and forth like a rubber ball. I got my pride, you know.
Buffy: I understand.
Spike: Clearly you don't, 'cause the whole "having my pride" thing was just a smoke screen.
Buffy: Oh, thank god.
Spike: I'm drowning in footwear!
Spike: Not to be a buzz-kill, luv, but my fabulous accessory isn't exactly tingling with power.
Spike: I'm getting zero juice here. And I look like Elizabeth Taylor.Spike: I can feel it, Buffy
Buffy: What?
Spike: My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings.
Spike: Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer.
Buffy: I love you.
Spike: No you don't. But thanks for saying it.
